WTH?

What the heck? He just did it again. PDA. AT WORK! Seriously? He went in for the hug and then kissed me. Luckily we were in a hallway and we’re on nights so there weren’t any people around. But I’m asking myself what the heck is going on?! I made a move to kind of push him away and said “you’re not supposed to do that at work!” I was shocked and a little dumbfounded and I’m surprised I had the wherewithal to say anything! For real he just kissed me at work. What am I supposed to think about that? Isn’t that a bit public for something that supposed to be top secret? What in the world was he thinking?

Since the morning he came to my house he’s been touchy-feely. A quick poke or rub here, a gentle nudge or touch to my face there. It’s strange. And makes me so much more confused. I don’t need the confusion. And I guess that’s what my biggest problem is. He’s confusing the heck out of me. He wants us to be friends with benefits only, and he doesn’t want anyone to know, yet he just freaking kissed me at work!!! GAAAHHH!

Confusion reigns supreme here. Confusion and the war within me to forget his overtures. I think he does it because he thinks I just want to be friends too and that I won’t want more. Little does he know. That’s just it. I think if he knew, he’d never come see me, never talk to me and quite possibly avoid me at all costs!!! He’s been in a relationship with someone he worked with and he loved her a lot. Unfortunately it went horribly wrong and he had his heart broken. That’s why he moved here…to get away from her and seeing her every day at work. I think he’s very cautious and apprehensive about getting into another situation like that. Which is why I think he’d be extremely unhappy to know just how much I like him. Why can’t I be as cool about it all as he wants?