Last night started off innocuously enough. However before my nightshift ended work-FWB and I had made plans to meet at my house to spend some quality time together. That’s the first since we started having fun almost a month and a half ago. It seems like so long ago when all of this started. And I guess it has been.
We started off emailing back and forth and then he spent most of the evening in my cubicle because he was bored and they didn’t have a lot of work to do. I enjoyed seeming him and talking to him. When he wasn’t here he was emailing…and then he said something that made me upset. I did something though that I probably shouldn’t have done, but I was trying to make him jealous. I know that’s stupid. And hindsight is 20/20 as always. But I showed him the email that one of his coworkers had sent me asking if he could follow me home for some quality time and I’ve told this other guy numerous times that it wasn’t going to happen (#1 he’s been intimate with my BFF and I’m not doing dirty seconds, #2 he’s married and I don’t want any part of that, and #3 he’s not even attractive at all!!!). Anyway, work-FWB and I had talked about him sorta-kinda one night when he was jokingly making fun of me for having a few admirers. Long story cut short is, that I showed him this email and he turned it around on me saying I probably show his emails to me to everyone. I wouldn’t do that. #1 I’m keeping this secret from my BFF who is the only person that I’d show his emails to if I could and #2 he specifically asked me not to tell anyone! I got mad at him and stopped responding to his emails. Until I talked to another guy coworker who knows about the situation who told me I was being stupid about it. I was, but I was still slightly offended that he’d think I’d show his emails to anyone.
At any rate, work-FWB and I started flirting back and forth via email and then we made plans to meet at my house after we got off from work. I was actually surprised at how relatively easy it was to talk him into it, but again sadly I had to initiate the conversation towards that. Why can’t he?
It was so nice. He’s so sweet and tender and completely opposite of his gruff exterior when we’re alone, naked. He’s gentle and attentive and that’s what makes it hard to forget. He doesn’t care so much for his own needs as he does about making sure I am pleased. That’s what I want and desire most. Someone who makes sure that I’m cared for. That’s why I can’t seem to get him out of my head.
God please help me to stay sane.
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